Entries by Reverend Batty Von Goebbels

Religious garments from a Christian perspective

A sermon by the Reverend Batty von Geobells There has been much speculation in the media recently about the former British Foreign Secretary’s comments relating to Islamic clothing.  Boris Johnson recently sparked outrage for suggesting Muslim women who wear headscarves resembled “bank robbers” and “letter boxes”. So I thought I would write a sermon from […]

Cannabis and the Bible

In today’s sermon I want to talk about God’s holy seed, but this time not the one he secretly sneaked up Mary’s muff, no I’m talking about Mary Jane, da holy herb, cannabis, weed, pot, ganja. Cannabis, as it clearly states in the Bible was given by God for our use. Although, I must note […]

The Miracles of Jesus Explained: Part 1

In today’s sermon we figure out some of Jesus’s most famous miracles starting with the feeding of the 5000. Jesus told everyone, “They do not need to go away. You give them all something to eat.” “We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish,” they answered. They all ate and were satisfied, […]

God vs Science

A sermon by the Reverend B. Von Goebbels Science is always coming up with all kinds of fancy equations to show that they are cleverer than God and make us Christians look like childish and deluded, dimwitted morons, which we are not. There are many mysteries that science cannot explain. God in his eternal wisdom […]

Adam and original sin

A sermon by the Reverend B. von Geobells I have just had the most amazing revelation from God. He has revealed his inner thoughts to me through the teaching of the bible. It has come to my attention that the original sin with which we all suffer and Jesus was sent to save us from […]